He Swallowed WHAT?

Have you programmed the number for poison control into your speed dial? The number is 1-800-222-1222. If you haven't done it yet, DO IT NOW.  When you call poison control, they look up the substance your child has ingested and tell you how to proceed.  If you need to go to the hospital, they call ahead and warn the ER so they are expecting you and are ready to begin treating your child immediately.  

If you think it can't happen to you, THINK AGAIN.  Here is the story of how two Joy Makin' Mamas survived the nightmare of kids acting like kids and getting into things they shouldn't- and a cautionary tale about securing the medications in your home.

Where to advertise your DC, MD, or NOVA moms group

The Joy Troupe is coming up on its one year anniversary, and I've tried a few things that have worked and a few that haven't as growth strategies for the group. Here I'm breaking down a few sources of new members. Bear in mind that my experience is with the NOVA/MD/DC area- your local area may have other online sources that are just as good if not better.

Meetup.com

We got our start on meetup.com. This website will host your group for a fee. The service does help attract members to your group, but the drawback is that meetup.com is promoting their brand and their product, not yours.

If you want access to a bunch of people who you know are online and in your local area fast, meetup is a good place to start, but it's not a good strategy for the long term for two reasons. The first is that meetup.com isn't designed to manage very large, active communities. In much the same way that churches find you have to have empty seats in the hall or people will decide there is no room for them in your congregation, your group will grow to fill the tools you use. If you are planning to have more than 100 or so members and more than 3-5 events per month, meetup is not going to meet your needs. This is based not only on my own experience, but on the comments of other meetup.com organizers in the organizer forum. Plan for growth now and you'll avoid some pitfalls along the way.

The second comes back to that branding thing. Beyond a certain point, the hard work you are doing to get your group noticed, growing, and running well involves promoting the meetup.com service. The way they thank you is to turn around and bombard your members with messages from other groups that want their time and attention. This can be off-putting for some members and can serve to erode the sense of community you are trying to create in your group.

If you start your group on meetup.com, I recommend planning to move your group to a different service within 6 months to one year. Set up your destination group immediately. Make sure you have a URL for your group and a website, even if it's just a simple portal to your Big Tent group, and focus all your promotional efforts on that website, not meetup.com. Use your meetup group to funnel new members to your site, rather than the other way around. What site you use depends on your group's needs- we at the Joy Troupe like Big Tent, but Ning Social networks and a few others, including self-maintained websites with content management software have possibilities.

Parent Network Sites

There are loads of networking sites for moms and parents out there, and unfortunately none of them has achieved enough market dominance to be the be-all and end-all. (Like Ravelry is for knitters or crocheters, but that's another story.) This means that you can't ignore the large national sites and you also need to seek out the most robust among your local online forums for parents. Because I use Google Analytics, which is a free service you can use to track your website's performance, I can tell you I get very few hits from these sites, but since it's free to list your group, I recommend you do it anyway. Choose one, consistent, monthly meeting that allows unlimited attendance and is open to the public and post it everywhere you can, then don't hold your breath. Raising Them, Cafe Mom, and Mothers Click all bear listing your group on and not that much cultivation beyond that. Like I say, set it up, post your monthly meet & greet, and move on to the next section. If you have members who are active on any of these sites, let them know you have listed your group on that site. Those sites frequently won't allow references to outside groups on their forums, but your members can talk about your group if they can mention that it is listed on the site in question.

Free Online Advertising that Gets Results

The sites that belong in this category include Craig's List, DC Urban Moms, Yahoo! groups, and Upcoming Events. You should also create a free Google Business Listing for your group.

Yahoo! Groups makes the list because you can set up a page that points to your main group quickly, simply, and list it in a local category for where you live. I've noticed that some areas of our metro area get more hits off Yahoo! Groups than others. If you are hosting your group with Yahoo! then you know what to do- just set up your group and you're on your way. However, if your group is hosted elsewhere, set up your group and turn off the web features, add a welcome file directing people to your main site, and "set it and forget it." You can put links to your website in the description on the main page. The other three are sites that will let you post your events for free. You should be posting at least your monthly meet & greet event to these three sites. If your group sponsors other events that are open to the public, like story times or hiring children's performers, post them too. Obviously, the more events you post the more hits you'll get from these venues, but DO NOT ABUSE THEM. Not only does spam ruin it for everyone, it may get you, personally, banned and make your life a lot harder. So play by the rules.

Craig's List also has a groups section which is highly effective. You should have an attractive, well written post about your group that includes your keywords in the posting title in the groups section, and you should also peruse the section to see if anyone has posted looking for a group like yours. Include a picture in your ad. Again, DO NOT ABUSE this by posting the same ad every day. Craig's List will allow you to run your ad for one week. Posting the same ad more often is not allowed. You can create one ad for each aspect of your group and post them- so, for instance, if you have a "new mom" club and a "walking" club within your group, rotate a post for your main group with a post for each of them rather than putting the same tired old post up every day.

Other Websites Worth Listing On

Again, I am able to track my traffic sources, so I can tell you I get very few hits from these, but, they are free and it doesn't take long to list with them, so go for it.

Our Kids
Newcomers Club
Lila Guide

Also, put a tag line about your group in your sig file of your email. A surprising number of people read these and check them out. Ask your members to do the same. Go to widgetbox and create a widget that promotes your group and ask your members to post it on their blogs, websites, and facebook pages. In the end, it all adds up.

Create a flier with tearoff tabs and ask your members to post it in libraries, pediatrician's offices, anywhere that families go that will let you post it.

To Be Evaluated:

I have recently discovered www.topix.com and will update this post with the effectiveness of using this resource.

Don't Bother

Unless you are prepared to really spend a lot, skip the Google AdWords service. I've had thousands of impressions but no clicks from them. I strongly suspect that I am not the only human being who has learned to tune out those "ads by google" links on websites. Save your money unless you want to shell out and run a picture ad.

Balloon Releases

Some of you, like me, have probably stashed away the hearsay that it's harmful to wildlife to release balloons.

Apparently, it's okay to release latex balloons, which are biodegradable- it's actually the plastic ribbon often attached to them that is the problem.

Here is an article that talks about responsible balloon releases: http://www.balloonrelease.com/faqs.htm

I was pleased to read this because the symbolism of balloon release is so beautiful.

Nature Deficit Disorder? Listings of area parks

"Nature Deficit Disorder" has gotten some press coverage lately- I heard about it on NPR. Although it is a catch phrase, not a true disorder as the term is generally understood, and I tend to despise anything that smacks of media hype, I think this is something worth keeping in mind for our kids.

You may enjoy this article by Melissa Gaulding of Huntley Meadows Park. She discusses some recent findings about how time spent outdoors affects children not only physically, but socially. It just confirms the instinct we've all identified to get these kiddos outside as much as the weather permits.

To help you plan your outdoor activities, you can subscribe to air quality updates by visiting http://www.cleanairpartners.net/ You can also request only to receive real time alerts when the air quality hits orange or red.

Mamas, here are some links to some listings of parks and playgrounds, so you can make the most of getting your kids outdoors.

Alexandria City: http://www3.alexandriava.gov/recreation/parks/park_facts.html

Very good park descriptions, including amenities list and description of playground facilities.

Arlington: http://www.arlingtonva.us/Departments/ParksRecreation/scripts/playgrounds/ParksRecreationScriptsPlaygroundsPlaygrounds.aspx
Not quite as descriptive, but I think if you search on the park names you can turn up more information. This is a good index.

Fairfax County: http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/parks/glance001.htm
Fairfax unfortunately mainly lists the major parks, and does not provide a good way to find info on playgrounds and amenities at minor parks. If anyone has turned up this info, please post it as a comment, or just make a note of the location and facilities at your favorite local park.

Here's an article about best parks in the local area: http://dc.about.com/od/childrensactivities/a/BestPlaygrounds.htm

And one to the DC parks department: http://dpr.dc.gov/dpr/site/default.asp

and here's Fairfax City: http://www.fairfaxva.gov/ParksRec/CityParks.asp

And lest we forget, the Virginia State Parks: http://www.dcr.virginia.gov/state_parks/state_park.shtml

Northern Virginia Regional Park Authority: http://www.nvrpa.org/

Maryland State Parks:
http://www.dnr.state.md.us/PUBLICLANDS/

and National Parks:
http://www.nps.gov/

Packing for Lactation

There were a few things I wish I'd known when I was packing for my hospital trip. First, I wished I'd known I was going to have a c-section- I could have left the birth ball, etc at home! (Best laid plans and all that.) Secondly, I wished someone had told me that yes, of course, you can have complications from a c-section, but that's true of any birth. Don't listen to any of the people who will tell you that the only way to experience post-natal euphoria is to give birth in the woods with no anaesthesia. I had an emergency c-section, and my birth experience was fantastic. A c-section is NOT a guaranteed ticket to a miserable birth experience, no matter what anyone says.

Beyond that, the biggest informational hole I experienced had to do with what you should take with you to help you start breast feeding. I was blessed with a wonderful "lactivist" friend who sent me a whole care package of breast feeding supplies- Lily Padz, a nice, big, nursing pillow she said fits "real" women better than a Boppy, an electric breast pump, and a nursing bracelet. Now, if you're like me, you're thinking, what is all that stuff? Do I need to take it all to the hospital? Is that everything I'll need or want?

You don't need to take your nursing pillow to the hospital. The nurses will find you pillows if you need extras. You may or may not want your breast pump. If you are still in the hospital when your milk "comes in," you may want that thing just to help make you more comfortable, but you won't have any way to store any milk you might pump. My baby was very content and did not care when mommy wanted him to nurse, he wanted to sleep, and I wished I'd come prepared to pump. (I'll expound more on pumping another day.)

Here's my shopping & hospital packing list for moms who plan to breast feed:

• Lily Padz and disposable nursing pads. You do not want the "washable" kind that are fabric with a vinyl backer- they can cause yeast infections. You will probably start with disposable pads and then switch to the lily padz later, although I found that the Lily Padz cut down on chafing for me early on.
  
• Nursing Bracelet. I didn't wear mine until the insertion point for my IV healed up, but you may want yours- just wear it on the other arm.
• Microwave steam sterilizer bags. You'll want to sterilize your pump parts before you pack them to go to the hospital, unless you plan to rent a pump from the hospital. Either way, you'll want a few of these when you get home.
• Lanolin. It doesn't go with the Lily Padz, but this stuff really sorts out the soreness that can go along with starting breast feeding.
  
• Nipple shields. These are for inverted or flat nipples and you can buy them at Target and probably other similar stores. If you don't need them, you can give them away on Freecycle, but if you DO need them, you will be glad you have them- I've heard of hospital lactation consultants who never offered these.
• A nursing drape. Get the kind with a window or stiffener that allows you to see the baby. You can find these on eBay for relatively little money- I bought mine for $12.

The nursing drape is a bit controversial. There are those who feel that nursing shawls imply that nursing is somehow unseemly and contribute to the lack of support for nursing in our society. I know there are women who are comfortable nursing their child without covering up no matter which of the 8 billion or so human beings alive today are present, and good for them. However, I personally think a generous sized, apron-style drape with a window or stiffener in it is just a darn practical item that every mom should have in her arsenal. Why?

First of all, some babies prefer to nurse without distractions. Remember that if people can see the baby, they want to touch the baby, and the younger the infant, the more true this is. Not every place you go will have a quiet room where you and baby can be alone, so you will have a lot more freedom as a new mom if you have the option of creating a private space for your baby that still allows you to interact with them while they nurse.

Older infants find rituals reassuring in strange places. You can use your drape to create a consistent ritual that your baby associates with nursing no matter where you are. Ian was quite young when he learned that that bright blue thing coming out of the diaper bag meant he was going to be okay very soon!

You can use the nursing shawl as a sun cover up for very young infants- this is particularly nice if you or your spouse are using one of those front packs on a sunny day. You can peek to see what baby is up to, and baby doesn't get too many rays. My nursing shawl is a non-feminine color and was large enough to cover Bitty Ian completely when he was worn in the front-pack. He had a number of contented snoozes under there, including one which prompted a security guard as we entered the National Gallery to ask my husband to please unwrap his "parcel." I'm not sure who was more startled- the security guard who was suddenly looking at our 2 month old, or my son, who suddenly woke up in a room full of people!

Your baby will learn to associate the nursing shawl with you, and it can function as a lovey when you need to be separated.

Last, but not, in my opinion, least- you can use it to protect baby if you eat while nursing. During those early days it can be hard to get a break, and unless you want to give up eating anything drippy or sticky or your baby enjoys baths, this thing can be trusted to keep the syrup out of baby's ears!

Your baby might be totally opposed to the shawl, but as I say, it's something to put in your arsenal. The more tricks you have access to, the less stress you'll feel as a new mom, and really, it's all about enjoying your new family member. (Or members if you are having multiples!)

Chicken Pox: To Vaccinate or Not

We recently discussed whether we thought the Chicken Pox vaccine was a good idea. Here is an article about "Pox Parties."

Personally, I planned to have Ian vaccinated even before I read the scary list of complications from chicken pox listed in the article. Hope you mamas find it informative.

When listening to the "experts" makes us feel like "bad" parents

This subject comes up over and over again when I talk to moms. There is always, always, always someone out there prepared to say that your way of taking care of your kids is the wrong way.

As a result, I very much enjoyed a recent Parent's Journal segment on NPR in which they interviewed a child expert who explained that the MOST important thing babies get from us, their parents is... are you ready? PLAY.

Breastmilk, no breastmilk, sleep training, co-sleeping, etc, are not the most important factors in the parent child bond, according to this author- she said if you had to choose and could only do ONE THING with your child, it should absolutely be play.

I'm not saying that all the choices we make as parents aren't important and that we shouldn't give them a lot of thought, but I was just so glad to hear someone (other than my grandmother, whom I definitely look up to and respect) finally say that spending time with my kid was the most important thing. I plan to hang onto that insight when I find myself struggling not to internalize the comments of so-called "experts" who have never even seen my kid, but are prepared to say I'm doing it "wrong." (Or of well meaning people who are trying to "help.")

What is Freecycle?

We often talk about Freecycle, and when it comes up very frequently one of our members is not familiar with it. Here is the description from the Freecycle.org website:

"Welcome! The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,348 groups with 5,036,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills. Each local group is moderated by a local volunteer (them's good people). Membership is free. To sign up, find your community by entering it into the search box above or by clicking on “Browse Groups” above the search box. Have fun!"

This is a great way to help stretch that mama budget, purge unneeded and unwanted items from your home, and keep things out of landfills. We hold periodic Swap Meet events in the spirit of Freecycle, so we can Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and socialize as well. At our next Swap Meet we are also collecting baby food and formula for UCM- Food banks are in desperate need of formula this year, and when they don't have enough, moms who aren't able to receive enough are sometimes forced to water the formula down to make it last. We all know how crucial the nutritional needs of these babies are at this age, so let's do what we can to help.

Mama Power Fitness

I heard an article on The Parent's Journal on NPR this morning talking about a book called Exercising Through Your Pregnancy.

Apparently, not only does exercise during pregnancy reduce the rate of post-partum depression, help treat post partum depression, and help keep mom healtier, it has benefits for baby too. (I did some research on this while I was pregnant, but some of this information was new to me.)

Babies born to moms who exercise during pregnancy are stronger newborns, which sounds logical if you think about it (strong mama, strong baby) but what was surprising to me was that at age 5, the children who were born to moms who exercised during pregnancy had HIGHER IQs.

Hear that mamas? Just by walking several times a week while you are expecting, you can expect your baby to be smarter!

Look for the article on The Parent's Journal website at some point- it's not up yet. You can listen to the podcasts. When there's a link to the article, I hopefully will remember to send that along.

You know the drill- go hug 'em!

Meghan

Safe Options for you and Baby

I frequently remind you all to bring sun protection for our outdoor events... Please read this article on sunscreens and their safety and effectiveness. They list the best products for you and baby, and also list some you should absolutely avoid. I've been using Baby Blanket Sunscreen Stick for Babies, SPF/FPS 45+- it's Number 12 on the "good" list.

We depend on these products to protect our kids... unfortunately, some of them do not do a good job. I was shocked!

This website is a good resource in general- some of us have discussed the recent scary findings about thalenes and their impact on reproductive health and cancer risk for our kids... you can look up pretty much any product you use and see how it is rated for safety on this site. They also rate the products based on how likely they are to cause allergic reactions.

I was upset to learn that the baby wash Ian received as a shower gift was rated a 7 out of 10- considered a "high hazard." (Yeah, I'm throwing that out!)

Go hug your kids!

Meghan