I have had, on occasion, people tell me, with varying degrees of disdain, how they are "much too busy" for a playgroup. "Oh, we've been so busy with organized activities..."
I'm here to make a case for making a playgroup your priority, not your back-burner, maybe-we'll-bother activity. First off, let me say, I'm really glad you enjoy Gymboree, My Gym, Little Gym, Kindermusic, Music Together, swim class, art class, and the others too numerous to name. I hope your child ADORES them and you consider them money very, very well spent. Please take a stack of Joy Troupe business cards with you so you can hand them out after you talk about how AMAZING your playgroup is. I'm not saying you shouldn't want to do these things with your child- just that you shouldn't decide to bail on playgroup in favor of them.
Why do I think you need a playgroup, when you could enjoy the ease and simplicity of signing up for a class every day of the week and knowing where you'll be on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays from here on out?
1. The money. Thought I'd beat around the bush a little before I got to that one, didn't you? But really, for $75, $100, or $200 for a five, six, seven, or ten week session, be conservative and figure you are shelling out $390 annually per activity. Now figure you do just two or three activities with your kiddo, and suddenly we're talking real money here. What could you do with $1,170 this year? Pay off a credit card? Buy a used car? Save for college? Host five years' worth of playdates at your own home?
2. The friendships. When you sign up for a session of a class, the other folks in that class are based on who else was quick enough with their check book to get in. Or, when times are tight, who can afford to take the class with you. Sure, you might not click with everyone who comes to playgroup, but you might not click with everyone in art class, either. And I've seen first hand that the friendships you make with people you see at least once a week can be a huge boon, especially to those who do not have nearby family on whom to depend. I have made friends I could call for emergency help at any hour of the day or night, and whom I trust with my home, my child, and anything else I could think of. I've been seeing these mamas every week for going on three years now. Can you build a relationship that strong that in a 6 week session?
3. The value of unstructured play. The fact that many playdates don't have a scripted agenda means that when you spot a "teaching moment" for your child, you can take advantage of it without disrupting the class. Help your kid with his negotiating skills, show her a bug, show him how we nicely pat the dog, or just enjoy listening to her giggle- it's all cool, because that is the order of the day. Yep, there is no denying they learn a lot in class, but the plain fact is that they learn the most from spending time doing fun stuff with you.
4. Strength in numbers. As a group we can accomplish so much more than one mama on her own. This year alone we've raised nearly $5,000 to help the March of Dimes save babies. And we had a ton of fun along the way! As a group, we've also played Santa Claus, fed the homeless, helped build a playground, published not one but two cookbooks, and reached out to any number of individual mamas in need of support with meals, babysitting, and love. Do you have time to be a great parent and do all that- just you, by yourself?
5. The Friendships. It bears repeating, so yes, it's #2 and #5. Your child will benefit so much from seeing the same children over and over again over the long term. There is no joy equal to seeing your kid's face light up when you can say "yes, all your friends are coming," and he knows just who you mean. And what, in this life, have you found that isn't more fun when you share it with good friends who laugh at your jokes (even if you make them in a form of proto-English understood only by one-year-olds), smile when they see you, and are sad when you have to leave?
6. The memories. We all know that little kids don't remember much of their early life long term. If you don't believe me, think back to when you were one. No? Okay, then, two. How many memories stand out? Just a handful, right? Of course there's no knowing which memories will stand out in your child's mind, but the more time you spend together, the better chance that they'll be happy memories of the priceless time you've spent together.
7. Last, but not least: Half of life is showing up. The folks who show up the most often get the most out of playgroup. It's just simple math. Each time you show up is a chance to make a new friend, to share something special, or for your child to perfect sharing, listening, or playing well with others. Even more, every time you and your kids come to play, it's a chance to laugh and have fun. If you don't come, we don't know you. And if we don't know you, we can't be your friends.
I know that there are times in our complicated lives when it seems like the investment of time required to make a playgroup successful for you and your child can seem more daunting than laying out your family's hard earned cash for a class. Because, yes, it is an investment- you have to keep showing up over and over even if maybe your kid hasn't got the hang of not pushing and grabbing, even when it means you have to dress your toddler AND your baby to get them out the door before the park date is over, and when you maybe feel left out because it seems that everyone knows each other except you. And sometimes it rains and you have to explain to your kid that you aren't going to the park today after all, and you'd rather do anything than see them disappointed. My point is that in the end, the dividends on a playgroup are going to be so, so much higher that it's completely worth it to find or build a group that "clicks" for you.
If you've been attending larger events for a while and have found a smaller group of folks who want to meet regularly, then you have completed the quest for the Holy Grail of playgroups. Commit to a regular get-together with those folks (and ask a group leader to set up a sub-group calendar for you), and then keep joining us for our outings, story times, and Meet & Greet activities so you can keep expanding your network. Because you never know when you might need a helping hand, be it to help end premature birth or just to watch your kid for an hour so you can, Please Lord, get a pedi because you can't reach your pregnant feet any more.
And if YOU have put playgroup on a "back burner," then it's time to move it up. Check the calendar today and choose three things that you and your child will attend in the next week or two. We'll be looking for you!
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